Can I Date Now?
Many of my clients come to me with very unique stories and situations. Whether there is a complex property division or a heated argument about custody, there are some questions that seem to come about on a regular occasion which have nothing to do with the property or the children exactly. Rather, I find that my clients want clarification as to what exactly is separation for purposes of a divorce in North Carolina and how does it affect their love life.
Well of course, your love life is very important. Especially in a divorce where both parties are having strong feelings of loss and confusion, I am here to say that it is okay to be able to cope and move forward. However, I must add some precautions.
It is okay to date after you separate from your spouse. The date of separation occurs when both spouses live under separate roofs and at least one spouse has the intent to end the marriage. This does not mean you are separated if you sleep in separate bedrooms or if one person sleeps in the basement suite. The spouses must be physically under separate roofs. The intent is created by simply one person wanting the divorce to occur. The intent does not necessarily need to be communicated to the other party, but if you want to ensure everyone is on the same page, including any future lawyers or judges, be sure to talk or at least leave a note about wanting a divorce with your spouse. No separation documents need to be signed and no orders need to be filed with the court to establish the date of separation.
Now once you are separated, you can essentially act as a single person in the dating arena. However, if you are facing any divorce issues that could involve allegations of adultery or other forms of marital misconduct, please do not move into a new partner’s place within a few weeks or months after the date of separation. A judge could look at the behavior as indicating that an affair actually occurred before the date of separation. And well, that is a sticky situation that I would not want any of my clients to battle.
If instead a few months have passed since the date of separation and you simply want to get a meal with someone you have a romantic interest in, feel free to do so. And once your divorce is final, feel free to marry anyone else of your choosing. If you are suspicious of where the line between dating versus a case for adultery exists, at least take the time to talk with your family law attorney. Creating further complications should be avoided in any divorce regardless of your circumstances.